What Actually Happened for My Babymoon and His 4th Trimester
We did it! Baby boy is now 3 months old. Time to reflect on how it all went.
First, it should be a crime to have the co parent go back to work a week after a baby is born. Not only does it hinder the special bonding time, but one day, during week 3, it took me till noon to finally get some food in me. How does this happen!? Easily.
Even though I had all of these healthy things set up and I personally have lots of knowledge of how to care for the postpartum person, it was hard to get it done. If you all see postpartum packages offered by me in the future it will be because of my experience with this one. I set it all up as best I could and I'm proud of how it went but still feel things fell a little short.
Here is what worked:
Wife was home for first week and parents were around for first 10 days. Thank goodness! I and my energy levels wish it had been longer. And I really do think it is a crime to leave a parent that just gave birth to take care of everything on their own so soon after giving birth. It's not right. No medals are given for those that suffer the most. And it is dangerous. I could go on. But this country does not have its priorities straight with its attitudes about families, birth and children. They just don't.
I had my crockpot meals prepped and a number of people dropped off meals. THANK YOU! So, how is it that it took me till noon to get a spot of food in my mouth one morning?! Well, thats a question that those that have never had to care for a newborn or have forgotten have. I did! But it happens easily. Newborns can not do a lick on their own. You are exhausted 24 hours a day. If you are blessed to have another kid(s) well then.........2 minute showers feel like a luxury. I think I got one on the weekends. That's it.
Supplements by my bedside. Yay! Glad I did that. I was able to keep the things to help get me healthy and stay comfortable right by my bed. And I'm glad we trained the 4 year old how to get me more water. She usually did that. Bless that girls heart.
Someone gifted me 4 acupuncture treatments. I was having some post partum anxiety, though not to the degree after the first, it was there. For me it is a feeling of dread and horrible images of my children falling off buildings or getting hit by a car or the one that has haunted me since my first child was born, images of the holocaust. I had a few horrible nightmares too. Anyways, the acupuncture was a huge huge help. I'm so grateful for that. And since this babe takes a bottle, it was an hour to myself where I didn't need to worry. Too much. I also did self acupuncture and took my herbs like a champ. Still am.
I wore my faja. I wasn't stellar about wearing it for 6 weeks post partum, but I did pretty good and have (mostly) refrained from lifting heavy things for the first 3 months. I did what I had to do when I traveled from MSP to LAX with 2 children and all of the bags, but I really focused on not taking out the garbage and leaving the heavy things for my wife to carry. And guess what!? No prolapse! Winning! It might have helped that this baby was only 7 lb 2 oz too. But I know that respecting what all of my lady parts just did was extremely important too.
What didn't work:
Thinking I could keep up with correspondences. Sorry you all. Still catching up. I have a few Thank you's left to go......
Driving in a car to go to a doctors appointment the day after giving birth. Just say no.
Making decisions. My brain is still muddled. But its way easier to make big decisions now. Still cautious though.
Cherry Almond Crockpot Oatmeal. Gross. But it fed me.
Lessons learned
Even with all sorts of careful planning, its kind of hard to sit around for 40 days. I tried hard and laid those expectations out and refused to budge for awhile. I think I lasted 2 weeks and then a friend came into town. So I went out a bit but still said no to some things. I'm proud of how I and my wife honored my birthing self. But I see where I can help others. You all might be seeing postpartum packages pop up someday. And it will go like this: I show up, at your house, multiple times in the first 2 weeks, and you do NOTHING (and don't make any decisions). except heal and I'll hold the baby while you take a 5 minute shower. ;)
People are awesome! I don't know a lot of people here but the ones I do, helped out so much. They are forever in my heart and connected to one of the most important events in our lives. No words can describe the love I feel for them. So, thank you for all of the food, well wishes, big sister adventures, and pushing self care on me, I love you all.
Update:
I did add a post partum care package!!
Here it is! Follow this link if you want. But I'll post it all out below too. :)
These are set up with calling me! 612-554-4753
I'll walk you through it all. I got you. Nurturing is kind of my thing.
New Parent PostPartum Care
3+-60 MINUTE APPOINTMENTS $430
This package includes everything you need to heal well after bringing this new life into the world.
Within 24 hours of giving birth: a nourishing and healing tea will be decocted and brought to you
1st-2nd week: Mother Warming Session: This traditional ritual is brought to you in your home in the first 1-2 weeks and uses moxa and wrapping to warm, nurture and heal. Warming techniques can be taught to a support person as well.
3rd-6th week: Acupuncture session: We will use acupuncture to help promote healing and balance as well as address any post partum issues such as milk supply, mood changes/concerns and pain from labor.
6th-10th week: Arvigo Technique Mayan Abdominal Massage Therapy (ATMAT) Ancient Mayan healing techniques are used to help support the body, ligaments, uterus as they adjust and return to their proper place and function. A faja, thin cotton wrap, will be given and instruction on how to use it to improve healing of lower abdomen and ligaments. Bajo or vaginal steams may also be introduced along with simple self care techniques.